Thursday, September 20, 2007

Notes On A Press Conference

EA: Bush: "You know, I got a B in Econ 101.
But I got a A in keeping taxes down."

Ian: Wait.
Wait.
Hold the phone.
That's from the Onion?

EA: Nope.
Two seconds ago.
Live press conference.

Ian: No. That has to be from the Onion.

EA: Live answer, straight from the horse's mouth.

Ian: Live on the onion?

Me: Close. CNN. It's like the Onion, only more funny and not on purpose. Well, funny in that "this is worse than watching someone skin a kitten alive" sort of way.

Ian: That quote is from Mad TV or something.
Will Ferrel's ranch commercial joke thing.

Me: I'm telling you. Live on television. Two seconds ago. CNN. Press conference.

Ian: No. That is not possible

EA: Is Fluff is the best thing to happen to peanut butter since jam?

Ian: Better. Jam? Pshaw.

EA: Does a pope shit in the woods?

Ian: Ok. Really he said he got a A in keeping taxes down?

EA: Yeah.
He got a question about the recession
He said, "Yoou know, you'd need to ask an economist because –
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Oh my goodness.
Holy dick!
Bush just said that Nelson Mandela is dead
Wait... Wait... He might trying to use a metaphor



EA: Oh… Ok. Yeah,.
False alarm.

Ian: What sort of metaphor is that?

EA: One that proves Kanye wrong –- the Republican party does too care about black people and their culturification.
What was all that news about none of the GOPers going to the black debate?

Ian: I have to see this.

(Watch what the fuck Ian and I are talking about via HuffPo)

Ian: Did he just say "Fishily responsible with the people's money?"

EA: Holy Mackrel!

Ian: OH MY GOD HE IS A DOUCHEBAG

EA: I didn't even notice that part

Ian: WHY THE HELL IS HE IN CHARGE OF THINGS

EA: Didn't you have to be oldish to miss a presidency? Like, "Oh, remember Kennedy? Those were the Days." Isn't it wrong that I spend half my time thinking about my salad days when we had a balanced budget?

Ian: CTRL ALT IMPEACH

If you blog this, or whatever, can we kill the douchebag line?
So I can send the link to my dad?

EA: ...I made a joke about skinning a kitten alive. Shut the fuck up.


UPDATE!!!Is "Mandela is dead!" the new "You forgot about Poland!"? Discuss!