THNX BT NO THNX

So I'm in LA and this morning, while walking one of our dogs in Santa Monica, I passed by three people with their personal trainers working out on the grass next to a couple of homeless people, waiting for the daily soup line.

I'm not saying. I'm just saying.

She-Who-Will-Not -Be-Named Hates Childhood UPDATED

Some of you may know I lately have an interest in books being banned from libraries, particularly children's books. Below is the list of books Sarah Palin tried to get banned from the library in Wasilla, according to the official minutes of the Wasilla Library Board.

Update: So thanks to Mr. Fain, the below is revealed as false. My apologies! You can get the scoop on this here. However, these are the usual suspects of books that get banned, or are requested to be banned. Are bans really requested? Whatever. Let's keep talking about our favorite kid's books.

Can you spot your childhood favorites?

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Cujo by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoir s of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It's Okay if You Don't Love Me by Norma Klein
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O'Hara
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women's Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Devil's Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
The Shining by Stephen King
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won't by Judy Blume
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth

Some of my favorites on this list include To Kill a Mockingbird, The Chocolate War, A Wrinkle in Time, The Witches, the Harry Potter Books, Huckleberry Finn, and Bridge To Terabithia, and that's just the children's books. What are some of your favorite children's books? What about the books on this list that meant something to you? When did you read them? What do they mean to you? Come on team ImWays! All 8 of you!

[long string of expletives], [sound of weeping]

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

West Is Best

Back in California! Huzzah! En route on Jet Blue, I watched the coolest thing. It was Frank Rich (!) interviewing Cornel West (!!), two of my favorite brain crushes. They were both so funny and interesting, I was completely obsessed, even though it was that weird New York Times channel that they air when the plane is still at the gate. West has such a passion when he speaks, and illuminates all the deep dark places of the American heart. I like how when he calls Brother or Sister, it doesn't seem contrived, and I admire how he explains how he likes and repsects people, but is also their fierce critic -- in this case, Obama.

I definitely recommend Frank Rich's Sunday NYT columns, and West's Race Matters, and Why Democracy Matters.

But as a side note, what a jaunty dresser he is! It's all about the three piece suits and the pocket watch.

Wait, is he wearing the same thing as President Barlet, circa last season?

Babe (Vom) in Guyland (Double Vom)

Aside from caving to Friend Crowther and reading The Children's Hospital, I'm also reading Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. The book caught my eye in my local shop, since I have repeatedly told family members that I will not date a guy, that I do not have respect for guys, much in the same way that I have a hard time with babes. (You thought I was going to say Dolls, didn't you?)

Anyway, it's shaping up to be a companion to Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, which was required reading at my quasi-feminist-project tiny high school. The Guyland jacket also has an endorsement from Ophelia's author, Dr. Mary Pipher, so I'm excited, Espesh with quotes like these:

Feminism expects a man to be ethical, emotionally present, and accountable to his values in his actions with women - as well as with other men. Feminism loves men enough to expect them to act more honorably and actually believes them capable of doing so.

Anyone who gets that feminism is partly about how women are not children that need to be condescended too, but also that men aren't children who need to be helped or excused, is pretty cool in my book.

For me, the ultimate goal of feminism is to eradicate gender dynamics and overthrow the hegemony of binary power structures that endorse and empower patriarchy (Ooof!). That is to say, to make it so difference stops making a difference. With this in mind, I get uncomfortable when we start talking about guys becoming men, or men needing to respect women, as this keeps us in those same grooves of MEN and WOMEN, but I don't think the general populace can embrace post-gender dynamics just yet, as the concept of women having their own political stance (even when it empowers everyone, not just women) still raises hackles. And when I say raises hackles, I mean, "Gets ignorant fuckwads going." With that in mind, I think it's books like Guyland that might be what's needed to push us towards a post-gender culture.

I am as guilty as the next woman of bemoaning "guys" (see above), which means I am just as stuck in the binary gender dynamic as the next personhumanoidunsexedbody, but lately I've been trying to turn away from that, and instead aim for what I call "emotional responsible adulthood," full-fledged human beans.

As a wise man once told me, "Survival is trivial. Transcendence is everything."

As far as I can tell, adulthood is when you take responsibility and understand that what you do has repercussions. Simplistic and base, yes. Easy to do? Nuh uh. Everyone is going to die, but will you die having transcended the immediate ego, or in this case, the immediate body?

Without qualifying everything in terms of gender, the responsibility of providing and stability doesn't become a male thing, it becomes for lack of a better word, a human thing -- I know, a little vom in your brain. But it's true, right? Don't we all need stability? And don't we all provide it?

But the kicker, the real sign of adulthood is emotional responsibility, that is, the understanding that while what you say, and do and feel has nothing to do with anyone else other than yourself, it still effects others. Mindfulness of the emotions and well-being of others makes you an adult.

Anyway, I'm going to guess that Kimmel's Guyland is going to base a lot in genderized, normative roles of Man/Woman Provider/Comforter, with that "BOTH are IMPORTANT" sort of qualifier, but I'm looking forward to the read.


Gotta go, I'm late for my drum circle.

Grand Muffin Top And She-Who-Will-Not-Be Named ARE NOT ON TARGET

On the left, Grand Moff Tarkin. On the right, She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named.

(This makes both my Star Wars geek heart happy, AND my political geek heart happy! Double whammy! Yes, I am one of those girls who loves Star Wars. I can totes tell you my favorite girl Jedi's.

Oh, what's that? You want to know? Oh, okay. Well, in no particular order they are: Aayla Secura, Barris Offee, and Luminara Unduli. Before you mention it, yes, I know, Barris never actually made it to Jedi -- she was only Unduli's padawan learner when she died on Kashyyyk thanks to the infamous Order 66.)


What? Do I have something on my face?

MY GEEK FACE?

Photo via Gawker

Barack America: FUCK YEAH

"God Helps Those Who Help Themselves" - Ben Franklin, Poor Richard's Alamanac

"Authorities in three counties alone said roughly 90,000 stayed behind, despite a warning from forecasters that many of those in one- or two-story homes faced "certain death."

'I believe in the man up there, God," said William Steally, a 75-year-old retiree who planned to ride out the storm in Galveston without his wife or sister-in-law. "I believe he will take care of me.'"

AP News on people refusing to evacuate the Texas coastline as a hurricane as large as the state itself barrels in.

Isaiah 25:4: "For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat[...]"

Worked out so well for people from New Orleans, yeah? I'd go with Ben on this one.

Things That Make Me Happy: Elbow's "Grounds For Divorce"

Otherwise known as "that kick ass song in the 'Burn After Reading' trailer." Nonstop listening will commence... now.

Myspace page, with tour dates. They're Mancunians, of course. Because why would I like anything not English?

Distraction With A Side Of Colonel Brandon (With Vodka Sauce)

Okay! Enough of that already.

This election has eight weeks to go, and if I go crazy now, there's no going back. So, because I'd like to put that off for a while, and because WE ARE STILL IN THIS SHIT TO WIN IT, and because AKD has threatened me, I am in full distraction mode. This means I'm basking in everything that makes me feel good. This includes long walks in the park, bikram, caving and eating pasta, and the (original) Office Christmas Special, which of course means listening to a lot of Yazoo. I also bought tickets for the Decemberists, who are playing the day after the election. Tempting the gods? Maybe. But a girl has to take some risks if she's going to enjoy a hurdygurdy.

Of course, before all these comes watching Ang Lee/Emma Thompson's version of Sense and Sensibility. Alan Rickman! Rolling English countryside! Willoughby's sideburns! Alan Rickman! Pointed tea drinking used as punctuation! Quiet, Gorgeous Englishmen! Alan Rickman!

Anyway, those are some things I use to distract myself when staving off a case of the mean reds. Readers, all three of you, are welcome to include your favorite modes of distraction.

If you say Alan Rickman, I'll fight you for him. (And you do not want to fuck with me right now.)

A Moment.

"Many appeared to be in the terminal stages of Campaign Bloat, a gruesome kind of false-fat condition that is said to be connected somehow with failing adrenal glands. The swelling begins within twenty-four hours of that moment when the victim first begins to suspect that the campaign is essentially meaningless. At that point, the body's entire adrenaline supply is sucked back into the gizzard, and nothing either candidate says, does, or generates will cause it to rise again... and without adrenaline, the flesh begins to swell; the eyes fill with blood and grow smaller in the face, the jowls puff out from the cheekbones, the neck-flesh droops, and the belly swells up like a frog's throat... The brains fills with noxious waste fluids, the tongue is rubbed raw on the molars, and the basic perception antennae begin dying like hairs in a bonfire.

I would like to think -- or at least claim to think, out of charity, if nothing else -- That Campaign Bloat is at the roof of this hellish angst that boils up to obscure my vision every time I try to write anything serious about presidential politics.

-Hunter S. Thompston, Fear and Loathing On the Campaign Trail '72

I Am Clinging To A Mere Thread Of Sanity

"Among other things, she encouraged the group of young church leaders to pray that 'God’s will' be done in bringing about the construction of a big pipeline in the state, and suggested her work as governor would be hampered 'if the people of Alaska’s heart isn’t right with God.'

I am trying really hard not to go absolutely mad with this Palin stuff, but quotes like the above make it increasingly hard. Apparently the GOP got the memo that the only way they were ever going to be able to get rid of Roe Vs. Wade was if a hardcore right-wing warrior woman did it. The Master's Tools might never dismantle the Master's house, but they sure as fuck will tear down everyone else's. Speaking of Palin and "choices"....



You can read the rest of the article here. Just warning you, it's called "In Palin’s Life and Politics, Goal to Follow God’s Will."

Ugh. UGH. UGH.

I am losing the ability to clearly discuss what I think is wrong with all of this. Which means I'm essentially like the entire Democratic party, and now exemplify how they've managed to suck at everything, but primarily life, and um, politics.

Gun. Head.

Our President:

"Fellow citizens, if the Hanoi Hilton could not break John McCain’s resolve to do what is best for his country, you can be sure the angry left never will."

So. The Left is the same as the Viet Cong and all the people we've been torturing at Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib, and various Black Sites are all... qualified to be President of the United States of America.

What? SERIOUSLY, WHAT?