Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Couple

I was more than tipsy. While I don't need much liquid courage in a karaoke bar where you have your own room to share with your friends, if I was going to sing George Michael's "Freedom" in a large bar straight out of season 2 of "The Wire," I was going to need more than one beer. 

The couple had been sucking at each other's headspaces pretty much since I walked into the bar. Not in that romantic, intimate way where there's a little part of me that envied them, but in that way that's just obnoxious. Yes, please, dry hump directly in front of the ladies restroom. Oh, for sure, don't worry, I was secretly hoping you'd knock my drink over. 

So I wasn't all that surprised when, at 3 in the morning in Brooklyn, when I'd flagged down a cab, the couple ran down to the corner and stole the cab.

I clenched my fists and shouted out, "You are horrible people! HORRIBLE! And you know it! Tonight, in the dark, when you're clinging to each other and pretending that you don't feel desperately lonely, my voice will echo out, and you will know it in the marrow of your bones, yes, you are horrible people. IN THE MARROW OF YOUR BONES!" 

My friends will vouch that this is exactly what happened. 

Another cab came by about five minutes later.