Monday, July 15, 2013

Champagne Problems

At first I liked his big loud laugh, but what did me in was that he let me shake the cocktail shaker when I said how much I love the sound. (I was willing to overlook the au courant old-timey bartender suspenders. Brooklyn.)

Plus, he kept refilling my champagne which, I am sorry to admit, will eventually morph me into someone who thinks that the evening will come to include something along the lines of:



But because I am a shy person stuck in a loud body, and because I am, in general, bad at this sort of thing, I thought I would show my interest via the time-tested method of doodling on a coaster.

...

On one side, marked "No!" I  listed things such as: mint, spiders, emoticons, skirts you have to dry clean, e-books, people who take up more than one subway seat, etc.

On the "Yes!" side was my number, baseball, Sundays, the newspaper, Christmas, matching underwear, slide guitars, "Casablanca," avocados, and such.

I thanked him for the drinks, set the coaster down in front of him, and bolted, leaving it to my friend to confirm he had looked at it, smiled and tucked it away in his trousers.

I never heard from him, didn't go back to the bar for 6 months, and vowed never to be dumb enough to think it would be a good idea to use a coaster to flirt with someone. Because, honestly!